My life chapter!

Hello! It’s midnight give or take! I am wide awake once again! Thoughts swirling in my mind. What to do, what to do! How am I doing, how am I feeling! What is going to happen next! It is June! In six months Christmas 🎄 the most fateful day of my life! How to manage, how to move forward, what can I do differently. How to be happy, how to break myself out of this down ward spiral 🌀!! Of unhappiness!! Feelings of loneliness, feelings of being lost 😞!! Feelings of not being loved! All these thoughts 💭 every day!! are wearing me out! I miss You Terribly Paco!! You were my person!! I felt alone, yet did not realize how lonely 😞 I was till my kids came and went! Tears fall to easy lately! Damn I hate myself right now! Grief is hard! How to be strong 💪🏻 in the face of loss! Finding my peace with loss, love, life! Will I be happy 😊 again only time will tell! I know I am strong, I know in my 63 years of life, I am beautiful! I am courageous enough to fight the fight! Yet!! till next time! cher-