Hello fellow readers, followers, friends, frenemies, and such! Can you believe another holiday is here to celebrate the fallen comrades of the United States of America Military. Both men/women who have fought for your right to be free, bear arms, and just plain breathe. I do hope you go out and offer a prayer to the families that are saddened today for the loss of a loved one, who is not longer able to spend time with his/her family, as they have laid down their arms to rest with God.
I can relate to the loss of the loved one, but from a different perspective of my loss for my husband, Paco. He was not in the US Military but he had respect for those serving this country, which allowed him his freedom to come live and enjoy the life we all get to live. Yet, the pain and sadness, stays with us for lifetime, we just earn how to live differently and grieve in silence as those around really do not want to hear our sad stories of lost love, or changes to our life status. We live in darkness, and learning how to live in darkness becomes a part of who we are, yet, sometimes, the light will change from dark, to medium to bright and we begin to see life differently for us and those around us. It is still to traumatic for me to spend happy times with multiple people at one time, seeing the smiling faces, the joy of kissing the loved ones, and giving a hug to your significant other, husband, wife such. Sometimes, it hard for others to know the pain of suffering the loss of spouse, child, or family member. Everyone alwayst never take your loved one for granted, and I think " IF ONLY I COULD HAVE 1 MORE DAY, MINUTE, HOUR WEEK, MONTH". Yet, that day is gone and I will never have that moment back in time. However; I will find another moment in time to enjoy my life differently, single, alone, and hopefully finding joy in these moments. These are just my words, my thoughts. Not for pity from anyone , just to find peace with me and how to move forward in my life as Widow, single person, and learning to find joy!
I did do some things the other day and took all my strength I could muster to move my bed, move the mattress, that felt like it weighed over 100 pounds LOL. But, I did all by myself, and the light bulb popped brighter than usual...and " I SAID OUT LOUD YOU DID GIRL, ALL BY YOURSELF WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANY ONE...MOSTLY A MAN! I know right. We have to learn to depend on ourselves and that sometimes is the hardest lesson in life. IT is nice to have friends...to chat with and sometimes those facing the same life challenges...yet, we must learn to grow and depend on we have in front of us.
It does not mean the road will be paved smoothly hardly....it will have rough patches and learning how too navigate the rough patches, will help us to find our path we are meant to be following. I am learning this now....and hopefully will find strength in the path I am heading down currently, and will find peace and joy. We shall see!
till next time1