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Self Sufficient Vs. Dependent -on Others

Writer's picture: Cheryl Macias, MHACheryl Macias, MHA

Women, face many challenges thru out the course of her life. One if she feels to "STRONG" and independent will a "MAN" love her for this, or if she feels like she needs to be "WEAK" to attract a "MAN" will this place her in harms way for the "MEN" who are narcissistic in behavior, and drive her to the brink of madness.


I for one believe a women should be who she is meant to be. There are women who are strong and independent and very capable of finding love and the perfect mate so to speak, albeit man or women depending on your gender preference.


I had a friend tell, me I am women in a man's body, it was not a derogatory statement, but one of love and endearment, as I have had to learn to be self sufficient once Paco passed away. Prior to my life with Paco, I was very independent, survived learning how to life on my own for may years, prior to us getting together and married. Then we met feel in love, and decided to become one unit. During this time Paco, feel ill with many things, and during this time he was the keeper of the house, and me so to speak. I am not afraid to let the world know, that he took very good care of me over the course of our marriage. He cooked, cleaned, carried, my brief case to the car, packed my lunch and other things as well. Did this make less of man, "HELL TO THE NO" it has made it harder for all other MEN to stand up to this standard of my life. Yes, I have learned to re-stand on my own 2 feet, and to learn how to care for the house, the car, the laundry, and let me tell it has not been easy the last three years.

Running the vacuum, took the wind out of me, but I survived and still surviving. LOL. It not not as daunting now as it was back then. Learning to cook and clean were life changing challenges that one takes for granted. Yes. the simple things in life we take for granted and they can be gone in the blink of eye, and we are faced to climb the mountain and find a way to become independent once again. I have gained control and started to work out again, and find joy in my work out and this brings me satisfaction of knowing what I have accomplished in the last three years. OH DON"T GET ME WRONG, I MISS MY MAN EVERY DAY! Yet, I know he is watching and smiling at the women he loved, loves, and loves from afar, grow and become self sufficient.


I have taken control over me, and this means, being able to do things and not struggle to do them and the best part, is getting in my car and going to the store and finding peace with shopping for me, and the kitties. Yes, that was a real struggle for many years after his passing. Being independent is not equated with being alone....it is quite the opposite of life. It means you have faced the challenged head-on and taking the path win back your independence. Does this mean not allowing another man/women back into your life, well, only you can honestly answer that question. With your true heart thoughts and feelings.


Ladies! Only you know what you need, want and how to achieve, do not allow anyone to take control over your thoughts, your self awareness and most of all do not live your life for a MAN! That means, live with them as partners in life finding joy in the same things, do not allow them to drive the car, this is a joint effort and if the joint is broken then find away to mend if mendable.


till next time!

cher-

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