Today was an emotional day for me! WHY you ask: well each time I make a decision to let get go of Poppy (Paco), it seems a piece of me dies all over again. Even though it is only an item to you, it is my heart to me. Then, I start to wonder, am I doing the right thing letting this go, or do I need to keep holding on. If I hold on am I not allowing myself to move on. There really is no right or wrong answer to this question only what we truly feel at the time. Thus this topic of emotional baggage.
There are so many ways to define emotional baggage, and do we carry this from relationship to another?
MOST will say yes, and some will say no. But the truth is YES we do carry emotional baggage from one relationship to another and this baggage will either break or make a relationship, depending on the strength of each person and the willingness to accept this person with the baggage. Emotional baggage comes in all forms. Each person will define the baggage they carry from long ago.
Letting go of emotional baggage is the hardest thing in life to do. This means making amends for past hurts you caused, or past hurts that have impacted your life with pain and suffering. YOU do not need to define to anyone what you are dealing with as long as you define this to YOURSELF and YOURSELF alone!
Once you have determined the emotional baggage and how to let it go, then and only then will you be free to move on, start a new or just be you. So, today I came home and sat in my house and cried and cried, and cried and still crying as the day unfolds. They say tears are healing and the tears falling help to release the pain of the sadness, or the joy of saying it is ok.
Many say, oh "He would want you to be happy" well. Truth be told, do I want to be happy? This is the most important question, what do I need to be happy, how do I move forward with happiness? Is there something magical that is supposed to happen to help me see, the life without Paco? Or do I just find a way to move on and hope for the best?
Only I can answer these questions-am I truly ready to answer them and will I like the answer I choose, the choice is mine and mine alone! Listening to one's heart and asking guidance from above can give you piece of mind and serenity for such big life decisions. We all have life decisions we have to make sooner or later: whether we lost someone or just life in general!
Today: I want to choose happiness over sadness, I want to choose LOVE over LONELINESS; what will this entail for me? What path do I need to follow to make this happen, what is the timeline for me to ensure I stay true to myself in all the choices I make going forward from today! Am I strong enough to commit to this? Only I know the answer to these questions and I have to make a conscientiousness effort to win this battle in my head! Cause it is battle and mind over matter really does matter!
What battles are your fighting each and everyday, and are you winning? Together we can fight and win the tug of war! Go forth and win!
Till next time!