I find myself in a quandary this year. Having more trouble with the loss of Paco, as we are heading into year 2 of his passing. It seems, even though I have survived the first 365 days, it was different....why you ask. Well, I had a different life back then, a different job, the ability to go out and work outside the house, and mingle with society so to speak.
Then life happened changed....and now I am working from home, and this changes your ability to social engage....and allows your mind to wonder more than usual....and keeps the thoughts more active on the loss of the love.....yet.....those facing loss, but find the strength and fortitude to move forward, and begin to find strength in oneself....and that is the hardest thing in life to do. YET....we must continue to move on and upward and not be afraid of the unknown, and how the unknown will impact our lives....with moving forward....and seizing the day that is planned for us.
Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised....but today here....the now....the day that GOD has brought us to for those that believe in the holy spirit. YOU must wake up everyday and give thanks for what you have.....and offer your graceness to those seeking your love and kindness......YET....remember to offer forgiveness to those that have wronged you at the same time. Life is precious and this I learned the hardest way possible.....losing the one person...who offered me unconditional love.....
He loved me for me....my faults....my transgressions.....my ability to forgive.....and to make amends as needed.....and for this I am truly grateful that he was a part of life for the past 20 years.....and he will always be part of my life...in memories and love from a distance.
So, I am going to try and write a daily blog till Christmas...giving thanks for what I have.....hope to have....and eventually hopefully find love of a different kind this Christmas.....and at the same time for my readers......I hope you find love, happiness and joy this holiday season......and know you are loved....by me.....and I am so grateful....for your unconditional love, support....during the hardest month of my life.
till next time!
cher-
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